Evaluating Hobbies
Recently, by way of the extended-Asian-American-metro-grapevine, it has come to my attention that someone called one of my friends boring. Since it came by the way of said grapevine, it is challenging to discern the specifics of the matter; it could have been in regards to dress, work, politics, or even certain proclivities. But I’ve chosen to interpret the remark as a judgment on their interests and hobbies. All that to say, I became extremely concerned because I share a lot of interest and hobbies with my friends.
A few years ago I wrote a piece titled “I don’t have hobbies, I have pretensions”, wherein I briefly discussed what I considered hobbies, and what I liked doing at the time: reading, writing, and watching movies. I think I still tell people that these are my hobbies, in addition to playing games of any sort: ball, card, video, or word. I am not unaware enough to note that many people will consider these interests boring. The antonym of boring would likely be exciting, and these would generally not be perceived as exciting. But they are what I do on beach vacation, on a afternoon off, and what I derive my small pleasures from.
I thought about it some more, and realized that if the speaker has a firm grasp of the English language, boring is actually a specific descriptor. It refers to hobbies such as mine, or collecting mundane things. Hobbies such as these aren’t generally very creative or constructive, nor do they light up our attention deficit brains. But there aren’t many negative adjectives that we could use. “Pointless” or “idle” come to mind, but aren’t most hobbies, or activities that one doesn’t agree with?
Other good specific descriptors for hobbies are frivolous, wasteful, exhausting, and stupid. Like “boring”, they can all be applied to every single hobby that someone doesn’t enjoy or respect, but apply more precisely to some rather than others. Frivolous hobbies are things that are generally perceived as superficial and ephemeral, but isn’t the point of hobbies to put time towards something that isn’t monetarily productive? Wasteful hobbies are expensive, but it’s perfectly alright to spend money on leisure. Exhausting hobbies leave one tired, but something to take the edge off a long day isn’t harmful either. Stupid hobbies are a bit trickier, because the word now sometimes means anything that isn’t likeable, but if the speaker has other words in their vocabulary, it means something that doesn’t intellectually stimulate.
In essence, hobbies and their criticisms can be evaluated on five dimensions: Excitement-boredom, seriousness-frivolity, cheap-expensive, relaxing-tiring, and mindful-mindless, where the first word is generally considered positive, and the second negative. Given a specific hobby, say skiing, fans will use the dimensions that it can be evaluated positively on (exciting), critics will use the dimensions that it is evaluated negatively on (expensive, tiring), some dimensions might be up for debate (mindful-mindless), and some might not even figure into the calculus (serious-frivolous).
Since Merriam-Webster defines “hobby” as “a pursuit outside one’s regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation”, any hobby can be criticized as boring, frivolous, expensive, tiring, and mindless when compared to working for money, when the alternative is sitting still and doing nothing. Or doing another hobby. As an example, reading is boring, frivolous (they’re just stories), expensive (buying books?), tiring (requires focus), and mindless (they’re just stories, again) to someone who doesn’t read. Consequently, critiques of a person’s hobbies say as much about the speaker as about the person in question.
Why is anyone concerned about the content of someone’s leisure time? If my friends started picking up hobbies that I found uninteresting, I would simply not join them. Aside from busybodies policing other people’s hobbies, I think aversion to a particular hobby says more about a person’s values than participation in a hobby. For example, I consider reality television a mindless, frivolous, and boring hobby. I’ve chosen to belittle reality television instead of other hobbies that are equally mindless, frivolous, and boring, such as doomscrolling, colouring, or coin-collecting because I have specific prejudices against reality television. Perhaps I crave greater stimulation than what reality television has to offer. At the same time, if I wanted to turn my brain off and watch something, it would be quieter and less plot-driven. For others it’s the perfect amount of excitement and drama at the end of a workweek, but for me, it’s simultaneously mindless, frivolous, and boring. Perhaps it’s because my job and responsibilities are quiet and don’t place significant mental load, so I seek more engagement in my free time. Maybe those who want to watch a reality television show or a soap simply don’t have the capacity for further travails after a busy day, or want to be just adequately distracted.
Despite what comments about a particular hobby might reveal about the speaker’s own biases and preferences, and how much I try to rationalize that all hobbies can be considered boring, it would be dishonest not to reexamine the inception of this essay: am I a boring person, or do I just have boring hobbies? An important consideration is how much of one’s life their hobbies or leisure time makes up. If someone works a corporate job and has to take care of a household, it’s pretty reasonable that their hobbies might be reality television. They’re exhausted, and don’t have time for anything else. It doesn’t make them boring. Similarly, given the amount of travel and physical activity I do (or aim to do), I think having hobbies that are stationary and quiet are a good balance.
Perhaps the ultimate cause of boring hobbies is too much pressure and stress from the other aspects of life. Certainly, not everyone has the privilege of being able to chose to work less and spend more time cultivating themselves, but for many people, that tradeoff is a choice. Stimulation can either be found in ones hobbies or in one’s work. Those who find it in work, and have little time or interest in anything else can seem more boring.
So, when we label someone’s hobbies as boring, what are we really saying about them, about ourselves, and what we value? The true measure of a person’s leisure activities isn’t how thrilling or creative they appear to others, but how they serve as a source of respite and meaning in their lives. After all, hobbies are a reflection of our individual needs, preferences, and the spaces we carve out for ourselves amidst the noise of the world.
