Bucket List: Updated.

A couple of months ago I wrote about an old bucket list I had found with thirty-five items on it. I had written it when I was in my mid-teens, and it reflected my desires well at the time, though many of the items weren’t as concrete as I would have liked, it serves as a snapshot of who I was at that point in time, and where my priorities were. With this blog going, I think establishing who I am at any given point in time is a much easier affair. Yet, it’s still helpful to have a list of goals or a bucket list. I’ve begun doing it every year, so why not do it now? These are goals for me to achieve in the next ten years, or forty by forty.

Own a pied-a-terre somewhere: Indication of material wealth and commitment to a secondary residence/culture.

Achieve Marriott lifetime platinum status: Measure of both exciting career and life.

Been to 50 or more countries: Not to intentionally tick off the country count, but a good measure all the same, and good to keep the count going.

Be married.

Be in love: yes this is separate from being married.

Be a published writer: book, essay, or poem.

Be conversational in a language that is not Mandarin, Shanghainese, English, or French.

Have achieved director at my current company, or a similar status elsewhere.

Attended the Pamplona Bull Run, La Tomatina, Tomorrowland, Oktoberfest, or Cannes. Each counts as one.

Visit Berghain and Masa, Each counts as one: in between putting Berghain on the list and the time of publication, I have already visited Berghain. A quick win.

Have a weight between 160 and 190 pounds. No point of writing a BMI when my height isn’t changing.

Be able to do: 10 pull ups, bench my body weight as a single rep max, run a six-minute mile, sub-50-minute 10km, a sub-2-hour half. Each counts as one.

Have read 200 books from the end of this year to when I’m 40. Or thereabout. Just keep on reading a lot.

Make 5 new friends that I hang out with outside of the auspices of the people who introduced us.

Be able to brag about my relationship with my high school and college friends the same way I brag about them today

Not have cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, or fatty liver disease.

Still have most of my own teeth.

Remain close with my family. I guess this just means not to become estranged from them.

Remain proud and excited about what it is I do at work.

To have made and kept in touch with at least five new friends, spending time with each without the auspices/circumstances of the person who has introduced us.

To have logged 1500 movies on my Letterboxd.

To still be writing creatively at least once a month.

To remain a romantic. So long as I consider myself one.

Visit a hundred unique airports.

Do more than five more trips with my immediate family of at least five days in length.

To get better at Chinese than most of my friends and family who reside outside of China.

To own an original artwork.

To have visited ten art museums I haven’t been to yet at this point in my life.

To have done a couple of standup comedy shows.

To have taken a long train ride (trans Canada/Siberia).

Join the MHC.

As I was writing these, it’s occurred to me that it’s challenging to come up with a list of forty SMART goals for ten years from now. The list ended up turning increasingly vague, and the bucket list items increasingly a preservation of certain aspects of my identity I wish to keep. I struggled to find the last item to put on the list, and it’s a bit obscene, but I left it there. Is that an issue? Am I so conceited that I not only believe myself to be the best that anyone could be, but the best that I could be? Amusing, but perhaps it’s because I’ve seen much deterioration in interests, relationships, passions, health, and perspectives since I’ve left school.

In fairness, there also has been some degree of growth. As I’ve grown older and many aspects of my health have deteriorated, I’ve learned to take better care of myself, focusing on nutrition, mobility, cardio, and functional strength. I’ve abandoned some of my romance, but redefined other parts of it. Though I read less, I write more. I don’t have as many friends, but the ones I do have are much more meaningful. I still have much work to do, but I’m much more emotionally mature. I have a different outlook on travel, on experiences. It’s not all bad for sure.

When I wrote the list nearly ten years ago, perhaps I didn’t understand all the possible avenues of development, but I also didn’t see any of the constraints that I do now. I wanted to own property in New York, I wanted to climb Mount Everest. Are such things out of reach? The only lofty ambition I have is to become a published writer. Am I already failing in my goal to remain a romantic? Or have I just become more pessimistic? That’s possible too, a pessimistic romantic. A sentimental, pessimistic, romantic. Or maybe I’m just currently feeling all three of those. Autumn has always left me with a sense of apprehension, and I’m on the cusp of a big life change that I’ve romanticized. I’m sad about all that I’ll be leaving behind.

But to Chris at forty: I hope you’ve managed to achieve most if not all of the things on this list. Above all, I hope you’re happy. But remember, even if it’s been a rough year, I’m still proud of everything that you’ve done. It’s important to be kind to yourself, your past, current and future selves. Never blame or expect too much. Chris from the past didn’t acknowledge that he’d be happy, regardless of how I turned out now. But here is current Chris, older and wiser, knowing that there is only so much that future Chris has control of. So as long as he had tried his best, I’m proud of the effort, regardless of the results. See you soon.